When you step off the edge of the unknown,
you will either find solid ground, or learn to fly.
That's me, after 18 years of climbing up to that precipice. Yesterday my baby girl hit the big 18. I still have no idea where the time went. I was warned, but did I listen? Did I take enough photos and videos...no. Did I "stay in the moment" and savor every little joy she brought my way? Totally failed on that one. And even though I can't remember how many ounces she drank at 3 months old nor do I recall the theme of every birthday party I gave her, looking at my beautiful daughter who is so full of kindness and unconditional love, all of my memories are contained therein. She is my past, present and future, and I have been humbled by the experience of having been her mother all these years and delight in the knowledge that I did such a fine job.
So that ledge, that jumping off place looms on the nearest horizon. Although my daughter isn't fully cooked, she is quite self-sufficient, she now has a job, does chores around the house without being asked and has some pretty serious critical reasoning skills that she puts to use every day. But her birthday and some other factors in my life have put me on that ledge which, believe it or not really excites me. In reference to the quote, I suppose the solid ground would be my husband who has been so supportive of me for the past 12 years. Knowing that he is there gives me wings and right now I'm feeling the need to soar.
First things first though, I must get my health in order. Luckily my dear friend Brenda happens to be in the same place and she has become my walking buddy/drill Sargent, she gets me to push harder than I ever would have if I were walking alone. I've also been on the path of trying to eat "real food" as opposed to processed. I've cut out fast food altogether, realizing that I often purchase fast food to "treat" my daughter. What a treat...destroying us both from the inside. I've given up coffee, diet Coke and all refined sugar products. In the past week I've lost 5 pounds. Yippee for me!
So here I am working towards a better me, and looking forward to catching a strong current and letting it take me to the highest part of the sky. It's all right there waiting for me...time to fly!